


Before Dawn

by Flynne



Series: Lynnie Amell [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Lynnie Amell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 02:03:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14606775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flynne/pseuds/Flynne
Summary: One door has slammed shut in Alistair's face, but another is starting to open.





	Before Dawn

Lynnie opened her eyes with a sigh that turned into a soft groan as she felt the rock digging into her spine. She was sure it hadn’t been there when she went to sleep. Even though she’d learned to awaken herself when it was her turn to stand watch, she had yet to get used to sleeping on the ground. She looked over at Krogan where he lay stretched out next to her. “One day, I promise you, we will sleep  _inside_. On a  _bed_. And it will be three times as big as this entire tent,” she promised, voice still rough and tired. Krogan yawned skeptically.

Despite the weariness and the rock in her back, her heart gave a little flutter as she caught sight of the rose resting on top of her travel chest, and she found herself smiling. She sat up, running her hands through her sleep-tousled hair until it settled more-or-less into submission, tucking the shoulder-length brown strands behind her ears. Krogan rose and shook himself when she stood to pull on her trousers and boots. “You don’t have to get up,” she told him. “It’s my turn to be on watch.” She grinned at the expectant look in his dark eyes. “Well, if you insist. The company will be nice.”

The grin faded as she pulled aside her tent flap and saw Alistair still sitting by the fire, and her heart sank at the dejected slump to his shoulders. She tarried just long enough to pick up her staff, then stepped out into the cool night air. Krogan emerged from her tent a moment later, stretching his muscular limbs fore and aft before trotting off towards a clump of trees at the edge of camp.

Alistair didn’t look around as she approached. She sat down next to him on the fallen log, letting the warmth of the fire push back the evening chill. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep? I thought you had first watch.”

“I did. But I couldn’t sleep, so I told Morrigan I’d take second watch as well,” he replied. “For once, she didn’t argue with me.” The snarking about Morrigan was familiar - the flat, weary tone was not.  A hot spike of anger towards Goldanna lanced through her, but she remained silent, not wanting to say the wrong thing and further lacerate a wound that was still bleeding. She set her staff on the ground behind the log where it would be accessible but out of the way. Krogan finished snuffing around the edge of the camp and padded over to join them, flopping down at her feet with a gusty sigh.

“I’m sorry I wasted your time today,” Alistair said quietly.

Lynnie frowned, troubled by the uncharacteristic bitterness in his voice. She dropped her gaze to her lap to hide her expression, fiddling with the hem of her long-sleeved shirt. “You didn’t,” she told him. “If I’d been in your position, I’d have wanted to find my family, too.”

He shook his head in self-reproach. “I just thought…if I could only see her…”

“I know. I’m so sorry.  I never imagined she’d react the way she did.” Truth be told, Lynnie’s shock had been the only reason why she’d remained silent. She had seen a lot of cruelty since leaving the Circle, but the venom in Goldanna’s words had left her speechless. The anger had come after they’d left, after the numbness of shock had worn off, too late for her to say anything except for clumsily trying - and failing - to ease Alistair’s bewildered hurt.

Alistair continued staring into the fire, eyes red, but hot and dry. “I’ve been such a fool.”

“You haven’t,” Lynnie said earnestly. He didn’t respond, and her heart broke a little more when she saw the doubt on his face. “If I were in your place, I would have done the same thing.”

He didn’t acknowledge that he’d heard. Waves of sorrow and shame radiated from him, and Lynnie dropped her gaze, looking unhappily at her hands threaded tightly together in her lap. She wanted so badly to hold him and make everything go away that her chest ached - and then she went very still because two revelations struck her at once: first, that she  _wanted_ to embrace him, which was a thought she hadn’t had before; and second, she realized that she  _could_. Her position as leader as well as her natural reserve had maintained a polite (if slowly dwindling) distance between them…but the image of the rose in her tent floated to the front of her mind, and she realized that if the gift had meant anything, it meant that she had permission to reach out.

So she took a slow breath and shifted to turn slightly towards Alistair, then lifted her arm to wrap it around his shoulders. He gave her a startled look but didn’t pull away, and she took advantage of the moment of eye contact to give him a gentle smile and say, “There’s nothing foolish about hope.”

Alistair did try to smile back at that - and then it was Lynnie’s turn to be surprised as he leaned in to her embrace. He was taller and broader than she was, but somehow he managed to fit himself easily beneath her arm with his head resting in the pocket of her shoulder. Lynnie hugged him a little closer, her sorrow for his sake mingling with relief that he hadn’t shrugged her away.

Neither of them spoke right away, listening to the crackle of the flames and the night wind in the treetops. When Alistair finally broke the silence, his words were not what she expected. “Where are you from?” he asked softly, still staring into the fire, face contemplative but without the lines of bleak despair around his eyes. “I’ve never asked you.”

“I was born in Kirkwall,” Lynnie replied in the same tone, “but I don’t remember it very well. I was very young when I was brought to the Circle; not quite five years old. I remember tall ships and the smell of the sea, but that’s probably because it was the last thing I saw of the city the day I left.”

“Kirkwall’s a long way off.” He paused, then asked, “Have you ever wanted to go back?”

Lynnie’s brow furrowed. “I haven’t thought about it, really. It was never an option before, but now…” Her mouth quirked in a wry little smile. “Well, I suppose it isn’t really an option now, either. But…I don’t know. Perhaps when we stop the Blight. Maybe.”

“I like that you always say ‘when’, and not ‘if’. I’ve heard some of the others start to say it, too,” Alistair said, voice warming. “This hope of yours is contagious, it seems.”

Lynnie smiled down at the top of his head. “I’m glad.”

They sat in silence for a while - Alistair, content to lean against her, and she content to let him - until Lynnie felt him grow abruptly heavier and his head slipped forward against her shoulder. “You should probably get some sleep,” she told him, smirking as he sat up with a dazed shake of his head.

“You’re right, as usual,” he said, scrubbing a hand across his face. He rose to his feet, taking his warmth with him; but Lynnie didn’t feel the chill, because even though she still saw sorrow in his expression when he turned back, there was peace there, too. “I’ll see you in the morning.” His mouth curved up in a slight but sincere smile. “Thank you, Lynnie.”

She smiled back at him. “Sleep well, Alistair.”


End file.
